Harriet Lerner
American clinical psychologist and bestselling author known for The Dance of Anger and other influential books on women’s psychology, relationships, and family systems.
Books
This list of books are ONLY the books that have been ranked on the lists that are aggregated on this site. This is not a comprehensive list of all books by this author.
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1. The Dance Of Fear
Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self
A practical guide to understanding and transforming anxiety, fear, and shame, explaining how these emotions shape choices and relationships. Using vivid examples and step-by-step strategies, it encourages small, workable risks—speaking up, setting boundaries, and staying present through discomfort—to build courage and authenticity. It reframes bravery as moving forward with fear rather than waiting for it to disappear, offering tools to handle criticism, perfectionism, and self-doubt while creating stronger connections and a more grounded self.
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2. The Dance Of Connection
How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
This book offers a compassionate, practical roadmap for improving how we talk to the people who matter most, teaching readers how to turn fraught, avoidance-prone interactions into clearer, kinder, and more honest connections. It explains why we shrink, become passive or explosive, and gives concrete tools—phrases, boundary-setting techniques, and step-by-step ways to prepare for and stay present in difficult conversations—to speak up without attacking, listen without withdrawing, and manage shame and anger. With real-life examples and exercises, it emphasizes personal responsibility, curiosity, and small, courageous moves that rebuild trust, repair relationships, and deepen intimacy.
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